Chicks Rule!

Boy, I just read back to my entries. I sound like such a jerk. I want so badly to erase it all because it's almost embarrassing. I figure I need to leave it there. Just leave it. This is so difficult to do. To write and have people read your fucked up thoughts. The thoughts you have that are fleeting. Or not so fleeting but you'd never admit them to anyone. This feels fucked up. I'm using the F word a lot huh? Oh well. Get it out. Purge.

Speaking of purge, I haven't yacked in a week or so. Hmm...maybe 4 days. I go through this phase from time to time. I don't need to do it. I know this. I know I'm ok. I'm not supposed to be a movie star. I'm not supposed to be a model. I'm vegetarian. Don't assume I'm skinny as hell. I'd like to think of myself as normal, but truth be told, I look in the mirror and call myself a fat fucking ugly slob. Not always. I'm better about it than I used to be. Don't assume I'm pathetic and want sympathy. I don't. Nobody's sticking their finger down my throat. I have a big problem and it's totally 100% my responsibility to take care of the problem.

I have yet to call the shrink. I will.