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2003-01-08 & 3:26 p.m.

Crack whore


Great. So I remind Jerr of a Dr. Pepper Guzzling, smoking, dyslexic army guy.

How did you find out about the smoking anyway??? Ok ok. I don't smoke usually. It's just that. Well. These days it's somehow making me feel better. It's a control thing. OK? I'll stop. I always do. For a couple of years. Then I go a month of smoking. Then I stop for another couple of years.

Although I'm really liking the odds of possibly getting lung cancer.

Yes. I totally relate to the comments about the last entry. After sex, I get the "was that ok?" or "did that hurt?" about a thousand times and it really takes away from the moment. That and him talking like Austin Powers. That does not do it for me. He and I are both....dare I say SILLY. We are. I don't mind, but during sex I'd rather you grab my hair, pull my head back and bite my neck.

I think the smokes I'm buying are laced with crack. I have been sleeping 6 hours per night and am feeling like I can go non stop. I'd hate to be around me when I crash. I took a medication I take for nausea that generally knocks me out. Has it yet? No, it seems to have the opposite effect.

I got an email about the next New Moon Ritual. I'm quite excited about seeing all of them again.

Weird chick? ME? Hmm, I'll have to ponder that a while. muahaha.

The little people are catching onto the smoking thing. I just had one come downstairs to kiss me. There was a pause as if "I can smell that on your breath!" Must be more of a closet smoker.

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