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2003-01-10 & 7:16 p.m.

People you know that you don't know anymore


I talked to my friend Dana for the first time in a long time. We both talked about having monogomy be a challenge. I'm glad I'm not the only one. I know I'm not the only one, but it's nice to know that an actual friend feels the same way. I know I'm married to a great dude, but I apparently have a flaw. Or a need. Need for what? To feel attractive or just to feel sexual. I used to be able to write about sex freely, now I'm just stumped. It's writers block in the worst way. What words do I use? What do I want? What would I want someone to do to me? The words don't come.

It doesn't all out consume me. I don't have dreams about sex constantly. I just wonder what it would be like with someone who just knew what to do. I hear about those kind of guys. Those who are gifted.

I actually had a dream about a couple that my ex and I used to be friends with. Once you divorce, you don't hear from your "couple" friends anymore. I didnt. Not that we had a lot, but it hurt because I really liked them. That's life huh? I asked my ex about them today when he came to pick up the kids and he said that last he'd heard is they had 3 kids ( I knew them when they had 1boy). Just kind of sad.

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