Chicks Rule!

I very much owe Lady gwenllian an apology. A while back I was checking out her website. She also has an erotic diary. I made comments about it being gross. Apparently I said she was gross, but that was by no means what I meant in my own head. This hasn't been the first time I've fucked up on writing something. I know what I mean. No one else does.

Right now I am very sexually frustrated. Very. I have done a lot of plain talk with my husband about what I need sexually. Apparently sex is a lot more important to me than I thought. So here we are and things are the same in bed. And here's this woman who can write about what she has sexually with apparent ease. At the same time I'm thinking about sex between my husband and I. It's ok. At best. If you've heard the expression for guys "blue balls", I think that is about where I am right now. I ache. I want. There's a couple out there very satisfied with their sexual interaction. There's fantasy and passion. I have never had passion. Ever. Never ever. I have to wonder if it's me. I feel passionate. But to have someone asking you all the time if it's ok, or if I'm ok, it's like he lacks any confidence. I guess to put it simply is that I'm envious. I don't have it and want it. I am thinking of other guys and that bugs me because that's what my ex did and it hurt. I think the difference there is he used to throw it in my face and threaten.

Anyway, very sincere apologies to Lady gwenllian. You are not gross. Nothing about your website or erotic diary is gross. You are very on the ball in your relationship. I know I am no one you know, but I know that the words can be upsetting and it just didn't come out at all like I wished it had. I feel like shit and I should.

I have really painful bad gas right now. It's a karmic payback.