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2003-12-01 & 10:31 p.m.

Body problems


I'm such a pain in the ass. I really am. I wonder why people don't call and it's probably because I routinely talk about the fucking bodily problems I'm having. They have to do with the conditions of multiple myalga's. Or whatever.

And remember the dude who had AIDS that was mad because I was complaining? I try to think of him. Although because he has AIDS doesn't take away the fact that I live with pain day to day. I am just not going to die from it. And he has to deal with the fact that he could die the next time he goes into the hospital for a high fever or something.

But still, I don't regret talking about my stabbing leg pain, my muscle burning and all that jazz. Waking up with headaches. Tight muscle spasms that don't go away. That type of thing.

I used to know a gal who was always feeling crappy. She always had a headache or felt like she was getting the flu. In the constant state of flu-like symptoms. Then she told me her condition one day and I totally understood. I was thinking she was a hypochondriac and it's the same thing I now have. So when people are sick or have pain, I totally and completely sympathize with them.

But I don't know how I got off on this subject.

Because I'm a pain in the ass.

From now on, if anyone asks. I'm "fine". I just need to stop talking about how crappy I feel.

Actually I'm pretty happy. Even when long ago I was in the hospital and had my C-section, I was smiling at the nurses right afterwards. One stopped in her tracks and commented on how I was smiling and she couldn't believe it. And now look at me. It's wearing me down.

Before this, I took NOTHING. NOTHING. Now I'm on 3 different meds all to try and control the P-A-I-N. I was never sick. Now I'm in bed ALL OF THE TIME. It sucks.

Wonder what the children will remember of me.

Probably that I was sick all of the time.

But enough of that, I'm so excited because in a week or so I'll have my period AGAIN! WOOHOO! And then I'll talk about my gladrags and dumping my bloody water in the flower beds to fertilize and become one with nature.

Sex has been on the outs these days. Probably because he's sick of me talking about myself. Focusing on myself and my bodily problems.

Who can blame him?



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