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2003-06-15 & 8:07 a.m.

Fuck you


I'm going to put this out here and I don't care if it sounds stupid.

I had an animal for a couple of weeks and it went back to the shelter to get adopted. I was pretty attached to the animal.

I figure it was the baby I wasn't going to have. I don't care how lame that sounds.

I caused the death of a life and here comes this little baby animal and I get way more attched to it then I normally do. We can't keep it. It's devastating. I knew before we took the animal back that I was going to have a a hard time with it and why I was going to have a hard time with it.

Knowing this didn't make it any easier.

I know, I did it to myself. And I'm dealing with it the best way I know how. I know it is affecting my self worth and how I see myself at this time.

Yesterday I went through a time where I was thinking what I did was bullshit. I'm over it now. Because what I do is an easy target for people and because it's not nearly as important as what you may be doing, it's still something I strongly feel needs to be done.

So basically you can make fun of it if it makes you feel better. Go for it. Have at it dude.

I'm trying hard to get on with it. Get over this abortion thing and beating myself up over it. But it's easier said than done. I should go to counseling. I know I should. I was. But then something happened with the insurance and I'm not going until insurance is all figured out.

Until then, I have to look myself in the mirror. And try to think I'm ok. No matter how hard it is. And ignore the people who belittle me, make fun of me for what I am.

It is now time for me to get into my sexy father's day outfit. Not for my father you sick bastards!

YUHUCCCK. For him. Because it's fathers day and it needs to be special because he's a good daddy person. Ya know?

Oh hey, I got this great link from Prowlingleo

Animated Kama Sutra baby! Oh yeah! This got his attention right away. "We need to bookmark that!"

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