Chicks Rule!

I'm ....I am speechless (type-less). I just know that every time I'm having a hard time going through what I did, I can always come back and read the comments. I didn't expect so many supportive words and I am very grateful for all of them. This is what will get me through it. I really appreciate the hell out of you all. I can't talk about this with anyone I know personally and I'm glad I have support out there somewhere.

Someone said they were confused, didn't understand why I thought I wouldn't make it through this one. I will just say I'm sick 90-95% of the time. The last pregnancy was tough, although not as tough as I'm sure others have gone through. After the last child, he said we probably shouldn't have another. Not because he didn't want them but because of how sick I was. That's what the decision was based on.

And I forgot to mention what BC we are using. Condoms. That's all we use. BC pills are not an option for me due to severe depression and causing more sickness/vomiting. There is no way I can get a diaphragm in correctly. Sponge, no go. Another thing I couldn't get in correctly. The gel stuff I'm allergic to. Severe swelling. We were great with condoms, until now. I went back trying to think what happened and I don't know. Defective? That does happen. We definetly weren't being careless. He's going in for a vasectomy soon. Still, we have to use another form of BC for about 6 weeks after the vasectomy. I may just bite the bullet and take the pill until that time. I can do that.

So today. Not as bad as I expected. Which is surprising. I always expect the worst and I didn't get it. Bleeding is heavy, but no more than usual. There's been some clots (graphic, sorry people), but not as bad as I thought that would be. I thought I would be vomiting all day long and that didn't happen either. About an hour after I started bleeding, I felt better than I had in a couple of weeks. It's been off and on. I've eaten quite a bit today. I was on this alternative way of eating until this all started. I am still vegan. I had 3 BK veggies today (PETA promotes the hell out of those, but it could very well be that they're not totally VEGAN) and 4 biscuits along with coke.

Mood? Ok. That's off and on too. I'm just trying to get the thoughts out in case someone else comes across and it somehow helps them. Either to get through the process or say "No way in hell am I ever doing that!"

Thank you thank you thank you. ***Yes, the candle layout was for exactly that reason.