TAMPON TALK
Could be. Could be that I'm in denial and the fact that I could possibly die from a pregnancy bullshit to make me feel better about the whole thing.
Although. Nothing will ever make me feel better about abortion. Just remember you're not me. You have no idea what I deal with day to day. I feel like Jim Carrey in "Liar Liar" where he screams I CAN'T L I E!. Nor can I bullshit myself into trying to justify an abortion. I still can't justify it. Although I know I didn't do the wrong thing. I feel that down to my core. I did not do the wrong thing. The fear of dying and leaving behind my kids was truly there. The fear of all the medication I was taking at the time and fucking up the embryo was very much there. But to Molly The Spineless, I just have this odd feeling you've never had kids. You've never held your baby in your arms you just gave birth to. You've never ever sat up late at night feeding, changing and worrying about the stuffy nose that the baby has or run into the emergency room with a baby that's vomiting uncontollably.
So don't sit there, Molly The Spineless, and tell me I should use birthcontrol. As you so eloquently stated, "Duh." I don't have to justify to you. And your guestbook entries are irritating, but when you eventually grow up, when you have to go through a terrible time in life, (whether it is self-inflicted or not) I do hope that you don't have someone making or writing flippant, shitty, smartass, know-it-all remarks to you.
Ok, I'm done.
I think shitty comments aren't all that bad. That way I can really think things out. It just made me realize all the more that I know I did what was right for myself and my family.
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It's time for....
Yes, I know you've all missed this portion of the program. Guys. I don't think you've missed it, but I could be wrong. I think it's probably good for you to read about cranberry jelly-like tissue evacuating women's bodies. I don't mean this in a bitchy way, but it may make more sense as to why women aren't so happy during this time.
I mean, would you be happy if you had blood gushing from your nether-regions?
I had pretty much stopped bleeding from the god-awfulness of the abortion. But my body pulled me right back into my regularly scheduled cycle. Yeah for it.
I am pretty irritable today to0, which could be why I bother responding to O-Spineless-One. That's the other thing. I'm not at all picking on the guys, but if your testosterone level suddenly spiked, would you feel a lot more angry and combative, so to speak? The reason I ask is a guy I knew used to have testosterone shots because of a tumor he had and couldn't produce it on his own. If he got too much, he got pretty angry and tense. That's how I feel when my hormones are totally out of whack. Tense, I want to smoke because it calms me down, bitchy, I get after my children more, I get irritated with him more.
My period is pretty normal which it hasn't been since the third was born. Which I like. At least so far it is. I hope it contintues to be that way. I'm wondering if the medication used to cause me to bleed cleared me out. I don't know. All I know is I want a salt lick in one hand and a huge TRUFFLE in the other. Or a handfull of truffles.
At least I feel less bloated. My boobs usually gain 10 pounds (that's what it feels like) of water weight and I was popping out of my bra. I hate that. And then I felt like I was hanging over my pants for the last month. My face felt puffy and gross. I got a ton of zits and I haven't had a bout-o-zits in about six months. Could be the vegetarian diet, who knows.
Well, this ho-bag is going to finish baking her bread. Because I needed to beat something and figured bread dough was the safest thing to attack.