TAMPON TALK
I also have nothing against my people.
AND, it's time for:
Oh yes people, it's that time of month where the resident ho-bag starts the menstruation discussion. Tampons anyone?
I like tampons because when I stand up, I don't feel a gusher. I don't wonder if that particular gusher has left a stain in my underwear and soaked through my pants. Have you ever seen Instead at the store and if so, have you used this product? I've studied the box so intently and still don't get it. It seriously looks like a diaphram. It's this cup that you cram into your vaginal canal. I don't think it absorbs either. It just stops it. That cannot be healthy. What happens to the blood? Does it just get stuck up in there? Does it stick to the Instead? The endless thoughts of this product gross me out. And I have to share these thoughts with my diary.
Oh and then there's the other product that the name escapes me right now. It looks like a cigarrette filter, only bigger. You put this product in between your labia, right at the vaginal opening. I guess if you don't want to stick something into your vagina, you can have this little thing soaking up fluid and not actually have to wear a pad. It's uncomfortable. And it moves when you walk. And you can feel it. And it chafes.
Then there's OB. The one you can't see. Just try OB and you'll see. Whatever. It has no applicator. You apply it with your finger. This is also unappealing because you get blood all over your hands. And you actually have to stick your own finger into your vagina. I don't think my fingers are long enough because I can't get OB in there correctly.
This leaves tampons. I don't like plastic applicators because you can't flush these. Plus they slip. Have you ever been in mid-insertion only to lose your grip halfway through. By this time the tampon is already expanding. Then it's damn near impossible to get a halfway expanded tampon all the way into your vagina.
I love it when I have premature application. This is where I'm sitting on the toilet and accidently make the tampon pop completely out. If you have one of those plastic applicators, screw it. You can't thread it back in so it's on to another one. And the plastic applicators have these weird prong-like ends that pinch your inner vagina if you're not careful. If you use tampax and you do experience premature application, at least you can thread the little bugger back. It takes a little while though.
I just don't like this time of month. The toilet bowl ends up looking like a cesspool and that is not cool.