I'm listening.
I sat there and wondered why I like it and then I wonder why in the hell I would be writing such a thing, but I just can't stop myself. Just like I can't keep my hands off of him.
It has to be the right person. To just do it. The person who wants to do it. Who gets off on doing it.
Taking it in the ass=taking it very very slow and make sure you're lubed like there's no tomorrow. Or whatever.
Let's talk about something not so pleasant, although I'm sure quite a few of you out there are like "Anal sex is pleasant?"
My issue is still the abortion. Not the abortion itself, although it is an issue. The entire time he was supportive. But he never said he would support me in any decision I made. It never came out of his mouth. His entire argument was that there was no way we could keep the baby. That financially there was no way. It wasn't because he was afraid for my health.
It all boiled down to financial and a real push for the abortion. What does that say? I don't think I've discussed it in here, although I discussed it with a friend or two. Last night was Spill-Your-Story night with a couple of people. My friend D was pretty shocked that it would be his reaction. She said she expected the exact opposite from him. Like total support. The entire time I wanted to hear "I support whatever you want." I never heard it. Nor could I say I wanted to hear it because it wouldn't be genuine.
I'm sure that in being a chick, it's a different thought process. For guy's it's different possibly and I'm making a mountain out of a mole-hill.
It's turning out to be a big issue for me.
Plus there's the fact that his job comes first.
And then there's tension. I came to bed last night and I'm pretty sure he had been crying. And here's me. Callous me. Like "knock that shit off, what the hell are you crying about?" I didn't say that !!! I would never, but the reaction was me being irritated and really not wanting to ask him if he'd been crying.
Job comes first. It's all I ever hear about. It's all he ever wants to do. I can point-blank tell him that we need to spend more time together and it goes in one ear and out the other. I'm not being a bitch and I know I have his attention. But he doesn't seem to want to do anything about it. He says "I hear what your'e saying." and that's it.
That's it.